i already hear my dad disowning me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize