Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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