just come out here and I will go home with you...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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