what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
