so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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