Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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