I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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