My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
