im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
