so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
