I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
