So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
