ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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