i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize