he puts the penis in happiness.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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