i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
