dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
