I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
