Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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