Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
