biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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