you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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