hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize