We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
