just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
