is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just found puke in my bra..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
