Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
