Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there's paper in my vomit.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
