Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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