I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
