i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
