i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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