Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
