Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
