party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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