Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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