is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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