can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
