Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
