I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When are your genitals available?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
