my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
