He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
