Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I supernannyed him into submission
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize