Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
