when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
