i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
