if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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