I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
