I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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