There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
