in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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