Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
