Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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