im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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