new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
