You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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