So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize