i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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