A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
