so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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