you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
