I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize