I'll bet she douches with gravy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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