there was a trapeze. enough said
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
