I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
As shirtless as possible
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
