bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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